Wish I was her, and you were mine
by xxBadeRomancexx
Summary: When Jade spots Beck with his new girlfriend, Meredith, and the way he kisses her and smiles at her, Jade cant help but think back to when Beck loved her, and when she used to be 'that girl'. But what happens when Beck sees her again, and wants her back?


**This one shot is about the pain you get when seeing your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend in a relationship with someone new, but knowing that you STILL have feelings for him/her.**

**This is based off the song 'Wish I was her' by Amy Pearson. It's such a sad, but beautiful song. You guys should listen to it when you get the chance :)**

**Please read, and I hope you'll like it!**

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It's been 7 months.

Exactly seven months ago, they broke up - Beck and Jade broke up.

Everyone who knew them thought they were the perfect 'it' couple. The couple who were in love, and were never to be apart despite their opposite personalities and arguments they have. They knew everything about each other, they were with each other everyday, and anyone could tell that they were in love.

But that all changed one winter night. A little talk turned into a big argument, which turned into a fight, which caused tears, and caused a break up at the end. The words 'Good Riddance' still rung in both of their ears.

But it's been 7 months.

They haven't really talked to each other in seven months, and it didn't feel right. Jade began to miss him more and more each day, regretting the fight they had. She thought she had the strength to forget about him, but it just became worse. She knew she still loved him, but Jade didn't say anything. She didn't want anyone to know about her missing her ex-boyfriend. She couldn't let it out. She thought she knew Beck well enough to know that he missed her too, and that he was willing to take her back. Despite the lack of emotions he shows.

Jade thought their break up wouldn't last forever.

She thought - hoped - that some small miracle would mend their relationship up again.

It was a sunny July afternoon. Jade, Cat and Tori were having lunch at a salad bar on a Saturday afternoon, just casually talking about everyday things. They were sitting in one of those restaurant couched sections. Cat and Tori had their backs to the door, whereas Jade was facing the front door of the restaurant, seeing people come and go from the door.

"You know, we should go to the beach." Said Cat suddenly, after taking a sip of her ice tea. "We haven't been to the beach in a while."

Tori laughed. "The forecast said that after today, it's gonna be cloudy all week."

Cat pouted. "Foowy."

Jade bit back a smile from them. But before saying something, the door of the restaurant swung open, making the little wind chime above it twinkle. Jade looked up. In walked a boy, hand in hand with a brown haired, brown eyed girl. Jade watched through a now-frozen heart as the boy and girl made their way to a table. The boy sat down, before the girl leaned in, kissed him, and stalked off into the ladies bathroom.

Jade gasped ever so silently, and she felt her heart wrench to an extreme pain.

She knew _exactly _who that boy was.

"Hello?" Said Tori, waving her hand in front of Jade's face. "Earth to Jade?"

Jade felt all the blood leave her face. She swallowed hard, and turned to look at Cat and Tori, who were staring at her back. "Oh, right, uh.." She said quietly. "You were saying?"

Cat raised her eyebrows. "Who're you looking at?" She asked, beginning to look behind her.

"NO ONE!" Exclaimed Jade, earning more weird looks from not only Tori and Cat, but from other people in the restaurant. She sighed. "I...I mean, nothing. I just kinda spaced out."

Both Tori and Cat just shrugged at each other before their food finally arrived at the table. Jade just stared at her salad, suddenly feeling sick. It was her ex-boyfriend, Beck Oliver - _her_Beck Oliver. The boy she was so in love with, the boy who was in love with her. He was the boy she has missed every month, the boy who she had thought about every month - The boy she thought she would get back together again if they ever saw each other again.

"Jade?" Said Cat, swallowing a mouthful of her sandwich. "You haven't touched your salad."

Jade looked up, and saw that Cat and Tori were halfway through eating. She hadn't realized she was staring at her plate for almost 10 minutes. Jade sighed. "I guess I'm not hungry." She said quietly.

"But you're the one who was complaining that you were bored and hungry and that I didn't have any food at my house, and brought us here!" Exclaimed Tori.

The dark clothed girl tried to act normal. "I kinda lost my appetite." She said, pushing her plate towards them. "You guys have it."

As they took her salad in confusion, Jade looked back up to look at the table where _he _was. The brown haired girl was back from the washroom. Beck sat across from her, smiling at her - the same way he use to smile at Jade. She saw the way the girl laughed, exactly the same way Jade use to laugh around him when they were alone. Jade felt her whole body turn ice cold, suddenly hurting on the inside.  
_  
How could he?_

Jade blinked multiple times, as if wishing this were all a dream. But once she opened her eyes, they were still there. It was just too hard to watch, yet, Jade couldn't turn away. Then she saw him make the words 'I love you' to the girl - exactly like the way he use to do when he said it to Jade.

The _exact _same way; The way he smiled, the way his eyes gleamed...everything.

Jade knew that she and Beck weren't together anymore, but she couldn't believe it. After all those days - months of wanting him back, and hoping the two of them would start all over, he moved on. He moved onto another girl, as if Jade West was just some stranger in his life. As if he was never in love with her. As if their break up was just a simple misunderstanding.

He smiled at the brown haired girl again.

It broke Jade's heart.

She remembered the times when Beck use to belong to her. And now, she's let him go. She remembered the twinkle in his eyes whenever he stared at her, when he was in love with her. Jade could see the love in his eyes as he stared at the girl, sitting across him. Jade remembered the time when Beck took her to lunch here, at this exact same restaurant. They had countless of amazing times then, but now, even though they're at the same restaurant all those good times faded into thin air. She knew this was his favorite place to eat out. She knew everything about him, and she knew that the brown haired girl didn't.

Jade tried looking away again, but her eyes were still glued on the couple that was just a few feet away from her. She tried telling herself that he has found someone else, and that he's in love, but Jade just didn't seem it was fair.

Jade wondered why she was feeling heartbroken. They weren't together anymore, after all. He found someone else that he's now in love with. He made his choice when he didn't open that door.

It wasn't her anymore.

Jade always thought that she was the only one for him, but she knew the look Beck had on his face right now. She's seen that face a trillion times in her life, but for the first time, it wasn't for her.

He looked so in love.**  
**

The brown haired girl reached over and held his hand, making him smile even more, clearly showing that he was deeply in love. But this time, Jade couldn't remember a time when she held Beck's hand, making him smile like that. She wasn't sure if she made him smile like that at all. Sure, she's made him smile, but not like this.

Jade felt her heart clench as she thought about it. After all this time, why did it suddenly occur to her now? Did she do something wrong? Jade felt like it was as if he's never loved her like that.

Jade just wanted him back. She wanted to have him, like how that girl had him now. It's been a year. They hadn't spoken to each other directly, seen each other alone- nothing. And seeing him for the first time without her in 7 months, with another girl, was something that wasn't expected. That was the last thing she wanted.

Jade remembered all the 'I love you's' Beck had said, and her saying 'I love you too'. All those memories poured back into her mind. The way he cuddled her, kissed her, held her...all of that was gone. All Jade had now was her _memories_.

And for once, Jade wished she was that girl, holding Beck's hand, kissing him, saying 'I love you' to him. Right now, she's willing to do anything to be back in that place. But that was nothing more than a wish. A wish that would never come true.

But she'd do anything...

She missed him...

Jade continued to look at him. Just him. He was laughing at something the girl said, as they both continued to hold each other's hand.

He looked so...happy. The last thing Jade remembered from him was how they would ignore each other, he would ignore her, which had then led up to the night when the two of them started to fight. He was so mad and so angry. And she was the cause of that. And the process carried on and on until it led them to break up. But now, he looked like the Beck she knew, and loved. She's never seen him this happy. And once again, Jade was hurt even more. She always thought that she was the only girl in the world who could make him smile and laugh like that. And the fact that _she_wasn't the one who made him laugh, deeply cut Jade's inner feelings.

It cut her in a way that would never, ever heal.

She always thought that memories of the two of them would stay in him forever.

But it was as if he hadn't known who Jade West was at all. All those memories were now being replaced. All the happiness, the love and the recollections of their memories that happened between them just melted away, just disappeared into thin, lifeless air, as if none of it had ever happened. As if they were never together for over 4 years.

Jade?" Said Tori.

Jade looked at her.

"Didn't you hear a word I said?" She asked her.

Jade shook her head.

Tori sighed. "We're leaving soon, okay?"

Jade wasn't sure if she wanted to go or not. She wanted to leave, wanting to forget about Beck, wanting to leave him and the brown haired girl. But at the same time, she wasn't sure if she was ever going get this close to seeing him again. They were always standing on opposite sides of the group or sitting on opposite sides of the lunch table away from each other. She wasn't sure if her eyes, and her heart could let him go.

It was no use being in love with him again.

They were in love, but they lost each other. She lost him. But Jade missed him. She wanted to be with him again. But there was no chance in getting him back. She was the one who ended their relationship in the first place after counting to 10...and he was the one who let her do it...

But despite all of this, Jade can't help but feel that she is still in love with him, as if they had never broken up. Ever since that night when they broke up, Jade knew that somewhere deep inside of her, she still loved him. And she thought that after a few days of not talking to each other, they'd return to each other. But she was wrong.

A month had passed after they broke up, and she heard nothing from him. Then a few months, but still nothing. And after not seeing each other for that long, Jade finally realized that they were through.

Jade turned back to the place where the couple sat. She saw Beck say something to the girl, making the brown haired girl laugh again. And for the first time in months, Jade felt like crying.

Why didn't he open the door?**  
**  
Jade remembered how she was the one who was always by Beck's side. She was the one who was there for him when she knew there was something troubling him. She was the one who checked up on him after school and stayed with him on the weekends until he got better. She was the one who preferred to be around her boyfriend rather than make him feel neglected by her every day, and made up excuses just to spend time with him which always brought a smile on Beck's face when he sees her. She did everything for him.

Now, all of that was gone.

Then Beck said something, and the brown haired girl nodded. He stood up, and walked into the washroom. Once he was gone, Jade felt this sign of relief. It was actually him. 90% of her wanted to follow him and apologize and cry to him with all of her mite, wanting to say how sorry she was for starting the fight, and sorry for everything she said to him, and saying that she still loved him so much, and that she never forgot about him - not even for a minute.

But Jade stayed in her place.

He wasn't hers anymore.

A minute passed, and he still hadn't returned from the washroom. Jade was starting to think that by the time he came out, she and Tori and Cat would have already left. She was starting to think that today would be the last time seeing him face to face with her. Never will she talk to him alone again. Despite how much she wanted to see him and talk to him again, even if it was just a small glance and a simple hey, she wouldn't allow it. She just couldn't allow him back...

Could she?

"Jade." Said Cat, standing up from her seat. "Come on, let's go."

The Goth dressed girl looked over at her, silently telling herself that the past belonged to the past, and eventually, she will have to get over him and that she'll find someone else - Someone better than him. But was it even possible to find someone better than him, someone who could replace the empty spot in her heart?

But then she told herself that it will never happen. There would never be a guy who would fill the missing space in her heart that she lost. Besides, all the guys in school are afraid of her. So it would be impossible to ever love someone again.

Jade nodded. "Okay." She said before standing up. She wanted to get out of here now, so she put her purse on her shoulder, and began walking fast, trying to reach the door, wanting to escape.

And that's when everything changed.

Jade was walking too fast, that she didn't even realize where she was going.

And that's when she bumped into someone.

But before she could fall, the stranger caught her in his arms.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see you there."

Jade froze. She knew who that voice belonged to.

She allowed a few seconds to pass, wanting her heart rate to slow down before speaking up.

"Whatever." Mumbled Jade, saying it so quietly, it was almost a whisper. But she was hoping with all her mite that he would not recognize the sound of her voice.

But before she tried walking away again, the 'stranger' got a hold of her arm.

Jade froze, and closed her eyes for a long time. He was holding her. He knew her voice. She wish she had the strength to pull away, but her strength was nowhere to be found. Jade took one more deep breath, and turned to the source of the voice. She slowly opened her eyes, and found herself staring into his warm brown eyes for the first time in a year. She felt her heart shatter on the inside.

Beck and Jade said nothing to each other. They just continued to stare into each others eyes for the longest seconds ever imagined.

1 second passed, then 2, then 3...

Jade felt her heart rate go up in a dangerously fast pace, and she could imagine Beck's doing the same. Just one simple glance at him brought back everything. The love they use to share - it all flashed back into her eyes, her mind and her heart.

But Jade had to let go. She pulled herself out of his grasp, and looked away.

Another moment of silence passed before it was finally shattered by his gentle voice saying her name.

"Jade." Said Beck quietly. It wasn't a question or anything, it just sounded like a statement, like he couldn't believe she was here.

Jade looked down and closed her eyes, suddenly releasing a single, unwanted tear. As much as she loved him now, she just couldn't bring herself up to talk. Even though she wanted him back, they already said their 'Goodbye' to each other.

Jade turned to look at Tori and Cat, who were standing a few steps away, mouths slightly hung open as they watched them, looking shocked to see Jade and Beck near each other again - alone.

Jade sighed, "Cat, Tori, let's go."

They both looked at each other nervously, but said nothing. Jade wanted to leave, she stood watching them impatiently. But she didn't say anything else. Her feet stayed in place.

Cat and Tori both had a feeling. They didn't know what it was about, but they just had a gut feeling to leave Beck and Jade alone or a few moments. They had seen Beck and Jade love each other before. And though it was a dangerous idea to leave them alone together, especially since they are not together anymore. Deep inside Tori and Cat's thoughts, Beck and Jade had to see each other again, even if it was just for one small moment. They knew deep down inside the gothly dressed girl, she was hurting on the inside because of him. And if this is the only way to let that pain go, then they'd do anything to help their friend.

Jade heard Tori sigh as she walked past her, with Cat trailing right behind the brunette hair, with the cheekbones girl. "We'll wait for you in the car." Tori said, before she and Cat walked out of the restaurant, without even looking at her or Beck.

Jade closed her eyes again. Then she looked up to look at him in the face. There he was, still flawless and handsome as ever. But she couldn't read his expression at all.

She heard Beck take a deep sigh. "H-Hi." He said.

Brittany said nothing.

Beck gulped, and looked down. He remained wordless for a few moments before looking back up again. Jade was looking away from him, but Beck continued to stare into her face, looking at her perfect porcelein lips and cheeks which he use to kiss upon when they were together. Beck felt a part of himself die. One glimpse of her brought everything back. His mind had the same questions Jade had. What did he do? Why did he let her go?

"Jade, I-"

"Don't." Jade said firmly, cutting him off.

Beck sighed. "Jade, please. I-"

But before he could say something else, another voice was heard.

"Beck?" Said the brown haired girl from behind him. She got out of her seat and stood beside him. She looked at Jade for a few seconds before smiling. "Oh hey Jade, what's up?"

Jade said nothing.

Jade couldn't take it anymore.

The brown haired girl was Meredith. She glared a bit at Beck,feeling confused about the situation at hand, then back at Jade again. "Um...what are you doing here?" She asked.

Jade just shrugged. "I'm just having lunch with Tori and Cat."

Meredith nodded. "Oh, that's cool." She said still smiling.

Jade was sure she hated Meredith more than she did before now.

She caught Beck's eyes on her and turned to face him. But as soon as her eyes met his he cast his eyes down. Meredith noticed this.

"Um...is there something going on between you two?" She asked looking worried.

Beck sighed, then looked at his girlfriend. "I...I-I, uh..."

"No." Jade whispered abruptly.

Beck and Meredith looked at her at the same time. She saw Beck freeze, while Meredith raised her eyebrows.

Jade didn't unlock her gaze from Beck. "He just saved me from tripping." She said weakly.

"Oh." Meredith nodded with a half smile on her face, then formed her mouth into a hard, straight line, clearly showing that she didn't believe it.

Jade felt her heart clench. Why did she say that? Why did she act as if she and Beck were complete strangers to each other? As if we were just two people who knew each other but don't talk anymore. But remembering all the times they spent together before they broke up, she just couldn't bring herself up to surrender, and fall for him again - even though her heart still yearns for his.

"Yeah." Jade said quietly.

Beck said nothing. He just looked at her, although to other people it looked like the calm emotionless Beck, Jade could tell he was really hurt and confused, wondering why Jade was acting like this. But deep inside, he knew the reason why. It was because they weren't together anymore. They didn't belong to each other anymore. He is now with another girl, but there was something else. Though he is now with Meredith that stood beside him, he knows that something lingers inside of him, wanting to have Jade back for himself.

Jade cleared her throat before looking away to the ground. "Um, anyway, I-I got to go."

Beck couldn't hold back anymore. Just one glance at the girl he used to love brought everything back to him. Millions of questions ran through his head, asking himself why he was feeling like this. And without even knowing, he opened his mouth and spoke.

"Don't." Beck pleaded in a whisper.

Jade's eyes snapped up into his.

"Please." Beck begged, ignoring the sudden glares of the Meredith who stood beside him. "Jade, don't - go." He said, saying each word with meaning.

Meredith looked at Jade, then at Beck, then back at Jade, anger and betrayal written all over her face.

But neither Beck nor Jade could care less about the looks she was giving them. And as of now, Beck didn't even acknowledge the fact that his current girlfriend was there. All he could see was his ex-girlfriend - all he could focus on was Jade. But Jade felt her heart clench once again. She looked back to the cold hard tiled ground, and shook her head.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

There was complete silence for about 5 seconds.

Jade looked at Beck one last time.

She looked into his eyes, and what she saw almost made her break down and cry.

_He wanted her back._

But she just can't. Not anymore.

And without saying another word, she unlocked her gaze from Beck, turned around, and walked out of the door, and away from him forever. Or at least, she hoped so.

She was proud of herself for being so strong. But there was a question that kept repeating itself in the back of her head.

_For how long can she keep that up?_

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_**A simple, but sad ending. But unfortunately, that's reality.** **Please review!**_


End file.
